If you’ve ever heard of Ben-wa balls, you have a pretty good idea of what the Smart Balls are. These little things are great for excercising your vaginal muscles, and they also have the metal balls inside. Every time you move, the balls inside will shift and move, giving you a quite pleasant sensation that’s almost entirely unlike anything you’ve experienced before.

They are also good for quiet stimulation. You literally cannot hear these Smartballs doing their magic, but oh they will do their magic quite thoroughly.

We all know that men mean well - really we do. But sometimes diamonds, candy, or flowers just isn’t what you want at all for Valentine’s Day. When you run into that situation,  don’t hope they figure out what you want - just give yourself a Valentine’s day gift. If you really want to get into the holiday, the Valentine Jollie gives you all of the pretty pink decoration and fun that you’ve always wanted.

I don’t know who at Kinklab came up with the Jawbreaker Gag, but I do believe they are the most brilliant people on earth right now. Don’t bring something painful to mind when you think jawbreaker - think about the candy…that’s what these genius kinky people did, they put a candy ball for the gag part of this leather ballgag.

Now that’s good enough to eat, isn’t it? This is recommended for light BDSM use only, since actual candy in the mouth is going to produce a ton more saliva than your typical ball gag. If you’re looking to get your partner into BDSM and they have a sweet tooth, then this is the kind of thing you need. It’ll run you 36.95, but you should be able to use it over and over again which makes it well worth it. Plus who can turn down candy?

Wow, now The Fantasy Glide is what I would call an interesting and innovative sex toy. It’s a 50 inch tall spring loaded ah…pogo stick.. that you can put your favorite dildo or vibrator into or use the 6.5 inch one that comes with it. You can adjust it to pretty much any height that you would like, and it’s certainly an entirely new type of sensation, plus it’s great exercise!

I would say this might work a bit better as a solo toy, though. I’m not sure if hopping up and down on the dildo pogo stick of your dreams will look ah..sexy.

An interesting bit of trivia about The Fantasy Glide is that is actually uses an aircraft grade spring to power it, so you’ll never have to worry about it wearing out on you. Just make sure that you can stand the completely unusual sensation you’ll get with The Fantasy Glide.

If you have ever seen any of Fun Factory’s super cute sex toys before, you know that you’re in for a treat with their newest vibrator Little Paul. This small, discrete waterproof vibrator continues the German company’s fascination with cute, bright colors, an adorable design, and a penchant for quality.

I was not entirely sure I was down with putting a caterpillar between my legs at first, but once you actually experience it, you won’t be having any second guesses. It’s not the most powerful vibe in the world, but given that you’re going for something quiet and discrete, it has to be a little less intense in order to let you get away with using it wherever you’d like.

It’s made out of silicone, is 3 1/4 inches long, and will run you two triple A batteries and 46 dollars. If you’re looking for a bathtime buddy, it’s well worth the cost.

Now I know this isn’t the most bizarre toy in the world, but hey, I was looking in the under $30 rack! This 8$ cockring is perfectly functional and fun - the main reason I’m featuring it is because the price is nice for an introductory cock ring, and it reminded me of a throwing star for no good reason.

I really do think I would dress up like a crazy ninja and attack my partner with this thing, all while yelling very random ninja movie stuff. I probably need to get out more, don’t I?

Anyway, random ninja star fantasies aside, if you want to try out the cockring world, try this. This one is only really for smaller guys though - larger men have complained about it snapping. For a higher end cock ring, should you decide you love playing with them, would be The Blue Dolphin.

Fun Factory has got to be my favorite sex toy designer in the world. This German based company has the coolest ideas combined with bright, accessible colors and a soothing design. Plus their sex toys work damn good too! The Stranger highlights a lot of their quirky ideas - you have what looks to be almost an alien exterior combined with a powerful vibe, splash proofing, and an ergnomoically formed control knob. This toy is incredibly quiet, yet nicely powerful with adjustable speed control.